THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME......
Time Travel - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week"
Logic - "Because I said so, that's why.
Foresight - "Make sure wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident"
Religion - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
To appreciate a job well done - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning."
Irony - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"
Osmosis - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper"
Contortionism - "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck"
Stamina - "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished"
Weather - "It looks as if a tomato swept through your room"
Physics Problems - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"
Hypocrisy - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't exagerate!"
Behaviour Modification - "Stop acting like your father"
Envy - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do"